Remind HN: Today is Mother's Day, call your moms

Remind HN: Today is Mother's Day, call your moms | Hacker News

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[](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085384&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Remind HN: Today is Mother's Day, call your moms 333 points by rationalist5 hours ago | hide | past | favorite | 131 comments And for any mothers here, happy Mother's Day. help [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085886&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)kstrauser4 hours ago | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) This is the first year when I can’t do that. Please go do it on my behalf, while it’s possible. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087382&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)kstrauser2 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) So, I have showdead on, and someone replied to me with a Reddit joke (that actually made me laugh). What really got me was the header for that: `` username 2 hours ago [dead] | parent `` “Hey Dad, why are you cackling?” “I‘ll… explain later.” reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48088387&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)andyjohnson034 minutes ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Twenty nine long years for me. Mother's day is on a different date where I live, but every time it gets me. And on many of the days in-between too. Take care everyone, and give your mother a hug if you can. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086241&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Beestie4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) it gets easier but not by much. I wouldn't have it any other way. Been 15 years and I don't want to ever forget. My Mom is showing your Mom around and they are trading stories of what brats we were :-) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085995&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)highwaylights4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Coming up on 3 years here. I felt this. Can also confirm this is based advice. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086200&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)thenipper4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Same here. I’m sorry for your loss and may her memory be a blessing. If you need someone to talk to I’m here. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085976&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)AnimalMuppet4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) My second. Most of the time it's fine, but... today it hit me. I don't have a mother anymore. So, yeah. Call while you can. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085858&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)codeulike4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Unless you're in the UK in which case it was the 15th March and you've already done it (or already missed it) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086003&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)nip4 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) And if you’re French, don’t worry, you didn’t miss it. It’s the 31st of May reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086302&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)user_78324 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Or you're in any timezone significantly ahead of the US (so like over 40% of the world's population). It's already 11.35pm here in India, and most moms (and reasonable adults) are already asleep. China/SE Asia/Jp etc are even further ahead. Better luck next year... I guess? reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087092&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)therepanic2 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) If you are Russian, then you celebrated this in November. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085998&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)pluc4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Yeah I learned that today! I wonder what's the reason behind the difference. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086162&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)nickt4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) In the UK (and a few other places) it’s “Mothering Sunday”, the day you honour the church where you were baptised, or your mother church. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mothering_Sunday reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48088138&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)pluc1 hour ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Well that just seems like a completely different thing that share a few letters reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085875&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)pmg1014 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Fourth Sunday in Lent or something, very easy to forget it! reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086038&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)beardyw4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Yes, it pre-dates the gift card (and gift) industry. I seem to recall being told it was to allow servants to go home to see their mothers. See how vaguely I framed that. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086422&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)chatmasta3 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) If you’re American living in the UK you get double the number of weekends freaking out thinking you missed it. Those signs go up in February… reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085776&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)xyzelement5 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Before I got married and had kids I thought it was a dumb Hallmark holiday. Now I think it's really significant and important to have an official day dedicated to recognize all the moms out there. Happy mother's day to all the moms out there. And all the guys that made them moms :) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086571&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Balgair3 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Each child is biologically required to have a mother. Fatherhood is a well-regarded theory, but motherhood is a fact. P. J. O'Rourke reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086716&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)treis3 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) This is not true on just so many levels. Lots of people have mothers not worthy of the name. I don't know exactly what fatherhood being a theory and motherhood being a fact means but I struggle to find any that isn't offensive to fathers. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087321&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Balgair2 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) O'Rourke was a conservative satirist (back when that could even be a thing), was semi-famous for his long term appearances on NPR's _Wait Wait Don't Tell Me_, and was an advocate for gonzo journalism. I take his quote to mean that motherhood is more difficult than fatherhood, especially back in the time he was active. The quote should, I feel, not be observed as a factual statement, but rather in the vein of his politically based humor. Largely, it was a simpler time. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/P._J._O%27Rourke reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48088033&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)lanstin1 hour ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I was a stay at home dad for a number of years and my observation is that kids never get over a bad relationship with their mother (also informed by knowing a number of adults with mothers that weren’t that good for them); any one can benefit from a good relationship with their father, but it’s a little more optional for the most kids. Ready to benefit from a supportive dad but ready to go it without that sort of helpfulness. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087277&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)i_love_retros2 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Why? What is special about being a mom? Are moms better than non moms? Lots of booze and a one night stand will create a mom, right? Not exactly a special feat reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48088045&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)lanstin1 hour ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Even bad mothering takes a tremendous amount of work and selflessness. It is worth recognition prima facie. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087617&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rationalist1 hour ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) It's a day for _mothers_ (which could be a step-parent, someone who adopted, neighbor, etc) - it's not Biological Incubator's Day. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086258&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)anilakar4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) When my mom remarried, her new husband started to manipulate her and isolate her from other relatives, trying to turn everyone against each other. The last time I met her, I was basically talking to two copies of him. I've already dealt with the fact that I will not get my mom back. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085729&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)chipgap985 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Happy Mothers Day to all the moms on HN reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085750&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)nsbk5 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) And Latvia reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085768&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)amunozo5 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Is it always May 10 in the countries where it's now? In Spain is the first Sunday of the month. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085994&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)unclad59684 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Second Sunday of May in the US reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086041&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)dyauspitr4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Why do they do this? Why not just have a fixed date for these things? Is it so people can use the weekend to celebrate? reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086395&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)lostlogin3 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) If it was a fixed day it would end up being a week day a lot of the time. Maybe that doesn’t matter, but it’s nice to have on a weekend. Maybe I’m missing what you mean? reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086146&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)jolmg4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) For Mother's Day, possibly, but it's not always the case. Thanksgiving is on the 4th Thursday of November. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086073&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Moto74514 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Yes reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086053&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)jacekm4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) In Poland it's on 26th of May. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085840&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)pjmlp4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Like in Portugal, I guess it is an Iberian thing. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085397&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Bender5 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I'll have a drink in her memory. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085589&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rationalist5 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I'm sorry for your loss. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086025&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)coalstartprob4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) cheers mate reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087416&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)kstrauser2 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Writing here because your reply to me (“I choose this guy’s dead mom”) had me laughing out loud. Just saying, even though the comment got killed, it landed well. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086331&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)user_78324 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Sorry, but seeing your comment being called _dead_ by HN was... amusing. (I personally think it's okay to be amused, even if it's thanks to dead people. I don't think any mother would really mind too much.) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48088297&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)drbig44 minutes ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) And in case you are elsewhere... In Poland it's on the 26th, so hey buy some appropriate flowers or other gift while you have the time! reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085670&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)croisillon5 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (in the US) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085760&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)keraf5 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) And a bunch of other countries like Switzerland, Tanzania, Belgium, India, Greece, Hong Kong, etc. [0] [0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day#Dates_around_th... reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085739&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)CamouflagedKiwi5 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (and New Zealand) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086856&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)treis3 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (and my Axe) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085716&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)bobnarizes5 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (+ Germany and Mexico) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086270&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)testfrequency4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Which is what HN is bias towards clearly reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085997&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)spikepuppet4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (and Australia) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085772&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)lxxpxlxxxx5 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (And Venezuela) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087079&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)MrDresden2 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (and Iceland) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085770&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)danjovich5 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (and Brazil) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085870&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Imustaskforhelp4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (and India) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085726&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)stackghost5 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (And Canada) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086062&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)woutgaze4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (and The Netherlands) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085887&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)sgt4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (and South Africa) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086210&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)egeozcan4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) (and Turkey) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086110&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)smt884 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) And China, India, and many other large countries. Most of the world (by population) celebrates it today. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085672&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)alex7o5 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) How is it mother day isn't that 8 march reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085705&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)taubek5 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) March 8th is International Women's Day (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Women%27s_Day). Mother’s Day is different from country to country (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother%27s_Day) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085784&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)nottorp5 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Apparently, according to wikipedia, we have a "mother's day" in the first sunday in may. I've seen nothing in the news about it and wasn't aware of its existence. 8 March was an entirely different animal... reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085743&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Swizec5 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) March 8 is international women’s day. The most ignored of all holidays by US culture. To an almost hilarious degree. My partner frequently brags that she’s the only of her friends and coworkers, in 10+ years, who has ever gotten flowers for women’s day. Meanwhile even Uber drivers have wished her a happy women’s day in various heavy foreign accents. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085832&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)drfloyd514 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I feel some editorializing going on. Here[0] is a list of many holidays that are ignored more than international women’s day. Happy International Day of Plant Health to you! 0: https://www.un.org/en/observances/list-days-weeks reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086140&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)halb4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) international day of plant health is on may 12, not today! reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085938&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)ipaddr4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) November 19 is international men's day. How many times have you gotten flowers on that day? Or Uber drivers wishing you a happy men's day? reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48088077&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)lanstin1 hour ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Fathers in the US can go out in public doing the absolute minimal amount of parenting work with a kid and bask in the warmth of approval from all observers. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086206&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)catlikesshrimp4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) The joke goes as following: Women are celebrated once a year... because men have the rest of the days. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085949&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)avycado134 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) lol. why arent we celebrated more reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085815&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)throwaway277274 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) International men's day isn't a thing in the US either, so that's not surprising. Contrast to Mother's/Father's Day, which are. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085806&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)xyzelement4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) // My partner frequently brags March 8th is for the partners, mother's day is for the wives :) Just kidding but couldn't resist. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086143&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)einpoklum4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Like May 1st which is snubbed in favor of (non-organized?) Labor Day, and, well, the metric system which has somehow still not been adopted in the US... reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087320&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Swizec2 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) > Like May 1st which is snubbed in favor of (non-organized?) Labor Day Oh don’t even get me started! Labor Day was specifically set for a different day than May 1st _to discourage solidarity_ with international labor movements. Wouldn’t want people to feel a camaraderie with the communists and socialists abroad reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086268&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)locallost4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Flowers for women's day is another ultimately weird tradition in many countries. Weird because the point of women's day is equality and not to be treated like our little special ladies. I always half jokingly said a more suitable gift would be a mini wrench or a screwdriver. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086044&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)dyauspitr4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I wouldn’t say that. I don’t believe a men’s day even exists. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086079&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rkomorn4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Men%27s_Day reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086148&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rglover4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Lost my mom 17 years ago. Don't be a chump; one day she won't be here and you will miss her in ways you never could have imagined. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086501&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rationalist3 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Also, Mother's Day is May 9th next year. If you do want to mail a card next year, I recommend making a calendar entry now to remind you to buy (or make) a card and mail it so it arrives in time, or at least least make a calendar entry to call her on the day of. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085885&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)david-gpu4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I am happy for all those who celebrate. Quick reminder that not all mothers are good people that we must keep in touch with. For people recovering from a rough childhood, here are a couple of resources that may be useful to you: 1. "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" by Gibson. 2. https://old.reddit.com/r/AdultChildren+CPTSD+raisedbynarciss... reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087924&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Quarrelsome1 hour ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) <3 <3 <3 Traumatised children unite! It is a little frustrating how those without this perspective react with shock when they discover that some of us have gone no contact with one of our parents. I was chatting to some muslim street preacher the other day and he told me that respect for your parents was a pillar of the faith, so that and my inability to grow a beard means I could never pick the Islam. <3 <3 <3 reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087387&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)graemep2 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Thank you for saying this. It needs saying as society finds it hard to acknowledge. My children are now no contact with their mother but it is painful. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086197&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)jsdfasds4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Yep. My parents went to prison for child abuse. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086185&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)livinglist4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I grew up in a toxic household (my mom cheated when I was two, my stepfather was very abusive towards my mom, and my mom was always condescending and materialistic and kept using me to get money from my birth father, my birth father has depression and I just never felt any love from him), and I now barely keep in touch with both my parents, the first one hit home. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086109&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Trasmatta4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Thank you for the acknowledgement of this. Mother's Day can be intensely painful for people who had or have abusive or neglectful mothers. I think this should be acknowledged before the blanket advice of "call your mom" is given. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085450&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)vishnukool5 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Respect. It's a good day to remember the impact they had even if they are no longer around to pick up the phone. Btw calling her now. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086092&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)mastabadtomm4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I lost my father last year because of complications from severe Alzheimer's. When I saw this, I thought my mother is still with us, and I need to be grateful for that. I love you mum! reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086692&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)andrewinardeer3 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) This was submitted 2 hours after Mother's Day concluded in Australia. Next year can you please post a day earlier? reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087658&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rationalist1 hour ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) ˙pɹɐɔ ɐ lıɐɯ puɐ ʎnq oʇ ʇuɐʍ ʎǝɥʇ ɟı ʎlɹɐǝ os ɹo ʞǝǝʍ ɐ sdɐɥɹǝd - ɹɐǝʎ ʇxǝu ɹoɟ sɹɐpuǝlɐɔ ɹıǝɥʇ uı ʇı ʇnd ǝldoǝd ʇɐɥʇ ƃuıʇsǝƃƃns ʇuǝɯɯoɔ ɹǝɥʇouɐ ǝpɐɯ ı ˙ǝɯıʇ ǝɥʇ ʇɐ dǝǝlsɐ sɐʍ ı 'ʎɹɹos :-) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085817&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)pjmlp4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Not everywhere, in Portugal it is the first May's Sunday. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086141&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)chcardoz4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Happy mother's day to any mothers here! reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087200&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)pizzafeelsright2 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I've created two mother's. The firstborn is privileged. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086169&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)issoms74 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) "I don't have mother" That's why I came to hear reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087231&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)i_love_retros2 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) This seems more appropriate for reddit or LinkedIn. You really that desperate for points? reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086264&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)bdangubic4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Call your Mom every day, even for a minute reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085894&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Imustaskforhelp4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I have just come to HN from I was actually helping my mother in pressing legs as her legs sometimes hurt from pain :-( Gonna go help my mom again in massaging her legs, Okay shes asking me to help now, bye! reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085763&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)late_night_fix5 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Appreciate the reminder,small post,big impact.Happy Mother's day to all moms here. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085727&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)malfist5 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) She despises me for being gay. Not a chance I'm calling her. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085991&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)RF_Enthusiast4 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Not all moms are good people. People with good moms often have trouble understanding or respecting that. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086094&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)dyauspitr4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Every parent in Asia would despise their son if they were gay. That does not make them bad parents. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086223&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)pixel_popping4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Literally it does, "culture" is an excuse to hide some shitty behavior sometimes, many aspects of many culture are pure trash and must change. (I live in Asia). Child marriage is an example, very few will argue that it doesn't make them bad parents for selling their children, but it's completely alright in many cultures, nope, garbage culture. And what you say about every parents in Asia is utter-nonsense btw and it's not the reality, you clearly don't understand a word of what you are writing. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086105&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)squigz4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Yes it does. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086132&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)smt884 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Hating your child for the genes you gave them _absolutely_ makes you a bad parent. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086121&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Trasmatta4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) This is patently and absurdly false. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086504&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)AH4oFVbPT4f83 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I don't know you, but I'm happy that you get to be you. If you wouldn't be friends with your family members, then why would you spend time with them? As far as parents go, they chose to have me, I didn't choose them. Not all people are good, and just because you are related to them doesn't mean it's healthy to have them in your life. Enjoy your day! reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48088353&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)malfist38 minutes ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Thank you, for your empathy, it is always appreciated. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085899&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)sgt4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Give her a call regardless. Perhaps that's the first step to letting it sink in for her that you actually care about her. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48087754&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)malfist1 hour ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) My mother has said she would prefer I die by suicide than continue living in sin. I am deeply shameful to her. I will not call her. It benefits neither of us. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086130&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Trasmatta4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Bad advice when you don't know the situation. It's never a child's job to fix an abusive parent. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086234&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)bossyTeacher4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) > the first step to letting it sink in for her that you actually care about her. You clearly didn't read properly. It's the mom the one who doesn't care about her child. Calling her isn't going to change anything. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086254&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rationalist4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Despising someone for something doesn't automatically mean that person doesn't care about someone. Calling might not change anything, but that doesn't mean that change couldn't happen another way. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085767&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rationalist5 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I'm sorry :-( reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085786&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)twiclo5 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) You should call her reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085872&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rationalist4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I contemplating writing a reply suggesting maybe a text or email instead, but I don't know enough about OP's situation so I don't think it's appropriate to give any advice that they didn't ask for. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086060&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)mr-wendel4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Hard disagree. Maybe there is a time for difficult outreach, but recommending someone to celebrate a person (and one of the most significant people in their life) whose primary emotion is disgust in response to unchosen personal attributes is remarkably insensitive. No need to salt those wounds. Let's hope things get better for _anyone_ in this circumstance, but IMO it is the parent's job to make an attempt. -- Nobody wants to or tries to be this kind of person, so here is my shout out today to the moms who DID find a way to work through the challenge of accepting a child whose sexuality, spirituality, politics, etc. are different than they hoped for. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086142&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)tombert4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I don't mean to be a douche, but that's an exceedingly ignorant and short-sighted statement. A child doesn't owe their parents anything. If your parent is upset about something about you that you cannot change, then that parent can rightfully go fuck themselves. Kids don't owe their parents anything. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086297&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)pixel_popping4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I disagree a bit somehow with the statement as it's a bit too generic, in my perspective, I do owe my parents care when they get older (I don't care about laws, talking about morality), I wouldn't send them in a home waiting for them to die, they'll live with me and my wife until they die, I understand that many might disagree with this, and it's fair if you had shit parents, but if you had parents that genuinely cared and done everything for you, I believe you want to also be fair for the sacrifice they've done and take care of them when they are too old to take care of themselves _(or if 1 of them die, luckily I have both of my parents still!)_. Can you really consider yourself a good kid if you just let them die in a center? In my eyes, no. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086369&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)tombert4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) You might feel an _obligation_, but you don't "owe" them anything. It's pedantic but there's a subtle difference. Doing something for someone because you're grateful for them is fine. I like my parents, I might take care of them when they get older, but I'm doing that because I _like_ them. > Can you really consider yourself a good kid if you just let them die in a center? In my eyes, no. Ironically, I think _this_ is too generic. What if your parents were physically or sexually abusive? This isn't hypothetical, there are millions of children that live that reality. Are they "bad kids" because they don't want to help them when they're older? reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086447&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)pixel_popping3 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Yeah I've put a specific "clause" for shitty parents, shitty parents deserve no support in the end (imo). My main argument is really that in the West, we are going too far away from the grateful mentality and it's scary and even absurd to see the number of parents that die alone (I'm talking about good parents), I find it sad and immoral in many scenarios. I use the word _owe_ because it's a moral code thing, the same way as I owe my wife & children lifetime promises and support (but not obligated right?), it's not something really negotiable in my head and I don't really intend to change it. I vow the same thing for my own children and I hope I'll do genuinely a good job, enough for them to feel that they owe me the support when I'm old. Think about the gift you do to a loving mother to let her die surrounded with her own kids, nothing is more important in life than this in the end, as you get older, no career or money matters, probably only family does _(again, talking only about good parents, shitty ones aren't included in this kind of discussion)_ reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086497&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)tombert3 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) I think it's certainly fine to be grateful for your parents if you like them. I had pretty ok parents so if they need help as they get older I'll probably help where I can. I guess I just get a little annoyed that people act like you are _supposed_ to. I didn't choose to be born, and as far as I am aware neither did the other eight billion on this planet. The parents were the ones who brought the kids into the world. The kids are _their_ responsibility, not the other way around. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086232&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)signatoremo4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Kids own their parents their very presence. Each person has their own situation so it isn't my place to give specific advice, but each and everyone should pause for a moment on this day, be thankful that they are alive, and consider to do the right thing that they wouldn't regret if they don't do it. Even if you wouldn't call your parents. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086289&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rationalist4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Do they really owe that? I think owing something should be contractual - they consent to owe something in a fair exchange. A person does not consent to being born. If someone treats you properly (raises you at least somewhat decently), you don't owe them anything, but you should feel an obligation to thank that person whether it's by saying thank you, or helping them later in their life when they need help. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086356&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)tombert4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) No one asked to be born. People are only born because their parents brought them into existence. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085818&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)Zambyte4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) ... why? reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085845&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)llbbdd4 hours ago | root | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Lol. Call her and put on a heavy lisp reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086016&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)bassrattle4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) She can hate the things you do and still love who you are. Shining your light where it's cold and dark is the only way to make the darkness go away. Hope this helps reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086115&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)tombert4 hours ago | root | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) My mom is fine, but my grandmother has said exceedingly racist things to my wife and homophobic things to my sister. I haven't talked to her in years and I suspect I will not for the rest of her life. People act like I am a douche for this, but at this point I really see three options here. A) I roll my eyes and let her spew her stupid racist bullshit and move on, B) I push back, start an argument, and really upset my mother (whom I _do_ like), or C) drop contact with her. C seems like the least-bad option. Kids owe their parents _nothing_. Not a single person on this planet asked to be born. If a parent (or grandparent) does something bad, the onus is not on the child to make things "right". People act like you have to love your family no matter what, but I think that's pretty naive. If literally anyone I didn't share DNA with said something racist about my wife then no one would give me shit for not talking to them, but suddenly because I'm related to them I just have to let this bullshit slide? Fuck that bullshit. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086024&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)muzmich4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) thx, I almost missed it reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086248&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)bradlys4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) HN’s demo is quite old. It’s likely most here are married with kids or have a dead mother. The days of a young Silicon Valley are long gone. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085920&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)xthe4 hours ago | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) This is good reminder but I do regular calls to her even today also reply gjvc5 hours ago | prev[[4 more]](javascript:void(0)) [flagged] [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085892&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)rationalist4 hours ago | parent | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) You can make your own cards, and calling doesn't require you to buy any cards. I imagine receiving a call is more enjoyable than receiving a card. Edit: I don't think OP's comment should be flagged. It is an understandable opinion held by many - even if I disagree with it. Flagging it hides it _and the rebuttals_ from others who might share the same opinion, in which case they don't see the rebuttals. reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48085837&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)xyzelement4 hours ago | parent | prev | next[[–]](javascript:void(0)) On the scale of 1 through 10 how happy is your wife with you in general? :) reply [](https://news.ycombinator.com/vote?id=48086063&how=up&goto=item%3Fid%3D48085384)EB-BarringtonII4 hours ago | parent | prev[[–]](javascript:void(0)) Just a phone-call, it's not hard. Don't need to buy anything. reply

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